What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
