Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
