i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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