"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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