But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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