he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
