I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
