she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
be right there i have to get my cape
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
