everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
sex in a hospital.. check
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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