i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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