Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
