I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
