Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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