dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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