I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
