His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My penis needs a shock collar
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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