Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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