i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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