Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
