google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
