ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
