I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
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