hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
