Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
