But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
