I bet he comes in French.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
