Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
