Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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