I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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