i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize