you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
