I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
