Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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