She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
