Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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