i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
