Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
