ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
