and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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