I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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