She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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