Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
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I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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