lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
