Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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