Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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