you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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