Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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