Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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