I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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