I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
