somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
