So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
