I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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