You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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