Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize