i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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