Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
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banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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