Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
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There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
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Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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