The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
