why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
MIDGETS
????
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
