Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
